WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize