A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
