Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
