Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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