How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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