i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
