Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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