Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
