Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
