me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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