did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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