TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
