and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
