loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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