shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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