I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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