I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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