is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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