and my herpes radar will keep us safe
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
