I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize