You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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