grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize