he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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