I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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