she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
