Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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