how can u be prego again
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
