I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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