wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
