Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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