I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I have fence marks all over my body
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
