So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I can't turn off my feet"
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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