i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize