non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
