I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize