I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
