Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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