You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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