i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
