We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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