She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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