the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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