My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
