You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
