Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
