And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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