dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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