I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
