It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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