Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
