So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
