from now on my penis is your penis
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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