There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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