I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
