Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
