Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Enjoy the penises
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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