doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Randomize