Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
