He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
She needs sedatives and a leash
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
