so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
