he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
