so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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