honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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