What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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