I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
