So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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