you have to choose: penises or morals?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Randomize
