i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
