I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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