I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
